With the pressure of securing a full tank of diesel resolved and fixture secretary Bob Owen chastised over the late kick-off, the two new members of the Noise Abatement Society set off with a full mini-bus for the delights of Swansea. Dixon arrived half asleep and remarkably was fully asleep despite the loud commotion going on around him. A residential experience the cause of his sleep deprivation. Harris and I are very jealous and look at booking one so we can sleep through next week’s inevitable noise fest.

Stokes notices a stowaway and is immediately a quivering wreck, a spider has come along for the ride. He is told by therapist Harris to build a relationship with it and name it. He comes up with the name of Doje. We have no idea as to why he came up with that name but it seemed to work. Soon there are Doje 2 and Doje 3. As we approach the Severn Bridge all are asked to get their passports out ready, Baddhity is so alarmed that he even forgets to check his hair for nearly five seconds before realising he is being wound-up. At precisely 12:08, one hour and seventeen minutes into the journey there is a sudden lull in the noise level, it last for twenty whole seconds. Harris and I savor the moment as if it will be the only one this season. Weirdly, Dixon wakes up. The noise starts up again. We have narrowed down the main culprits to…Glanville, Baddhity, Ali, Stokes, Middlecote, Sadler, Kelly, Howard, Hodges, Savioli and Dixon.

As we approach the services, all check their wallets, except Baddhity who checks his hair. Ali becomes excited when he sees a Krispy Kreme sign and declares he is having one of those. Once he notices the price he walks away empty handed and immediately goes to the top of the most sensible person league, in fact he becomes the only person in the league. Dixon heads straight for Costa as he is urgently in need of a coffee pick-me-up. He uses the language of a half-asleep person to order and just points at the menu board to get his salted caramel frostino. Ham appears to be the most popular sandwich filling. Nobody offers Harris or I a single bite and we have to buy our own.

Back on the mini-bus a game of wave at every passing vehicle begins. The very nice people of South Wales respond brilliantly and cheers are heard for miles. Stokes is not so lucky though as a car full of young lads pull faces and one of them indicated that he is the number one person in the car by holding up one middle finger. The game continues and they even get waves from a Hells Angel biker and even an ambulance with its blue lights on as it sped past. Savioli creates a new game of how many times can you say Lee in quick succession to get his attention. He reaches five in 1.5 seconds.

We arrive at the Swansea ground and park safely. We parked next to the girl’s mini-bus which is also parked safely. Then Ryan Sadler arrives. He does not like the position of the car park light stand and tries to move it with the front of his vehicle. The brick-built stand does not move and Ryan’s vehicle is now 3 inches shorter.

Howard and Kelly are in fits of laughter as we enter the changing rooms. The cause, a poster telling them to ‘Check your boobs’.

The pitch was very wide, sloping and undulating. The goals were seven-a-side size and we were led to believe it was a grass surface but the half a million leaves completely obscured our view. Apart from that it was perfect.

The large pitch made for an open game. Each side having good opportunities to score in the opening minute. Swansea hitting the post with theirs. Each side then had two chances, each through one on one runs in on the respective ‘keepers. The ‘keepers winning out on every occasion. In one of them, Kelly, in

goal as regular ‘keeper Sadler had injured his hand, made an extremely brave save at the feet of the striker as he powered through on goal. Captain for the day Savioli bucked the trend and on his third run through on goal he managed to put the visitors ahead. Firing the ball under the ‘keepers dive. It did not take the homeside long to equalise and then take the lead. Weak passes and clearances as well as a lack of marking gave Swansea two easy goals. Dixon smashed in the leveller in similar circumstances when he was left free in the centre of the goal following a goal mouth scramble.

The second half was a much tighter affair, both defences getting to grips with the constant through ball attempts. Middlecote, Howard and Stokes all having stronger second halves denying the homeside as much time and space as they were enjoying and anything that did get through was saved by the debutant keeper Kelly who was having a great game. The Gloucester midfield had to work very hard to maintain parity with their hosts. They did well as they battled up the slope and had to contend with the many leaves on the energy sapping pitch. It was no surprise that the pace of the game dropped near the end and just as the game was expected to end with honours even, Dixon made a strong run down the left, his powerful shot cannoned off the bar, the clearance landing at the feet of Stokes, whose shot was parried out by the ‘keeper into the path of Dixon. He made no mistake with his finish and won the game for the yellows with the last kick of the game.

It was great to see such a great travelling support in attendance. You all did Gloucester proud and left your mark on Swansea. Ryan took it too literally of course but never mind.

Hodges very nearly listened to instructions by leaving his trainers in the changing room, luckily a lad from the university was around and knew the door code so he could rescue them.

Dixon was soon asleep as the noise bus started the long 5 minute journey home. About an hour in the noise level started to reduce and this time lasted just over ten minutes. All it has taken is a three hour journey of screaming and shouting and an hour of running up and down a pitch covered in foot deep leaves for them to run out of energy and quieten down. Easy.

Middlecote’s birthday was celebrated in style in the services with a chocolate Krispy Kreme and the obligatory birthday song. Re-fuelled, the boys resurrected the noise bus for the rest of the journey home.

A very long, noisy but great day.

Gloucester B:

Kelly, Middlecote, Stokes, Hodges, Howard, Sadler, Glanville, Baddhity, Dixon, Ali, Savioli.