Swindon 1-3 Gloucester by Midas and the Golden Boot
Gone are the halcyon days of laced footballs, sharpened studs and black boots. While there is but a handful of people that cherish a return to two-stone concrete spheres and even fewer that want to witness the impact of the legendary sharpened stud, surely nobody would agree that the standard black footwear of yesteryear should be replaced by the white and gold £160 moccasin-like slipper modelled by Chamberlain in the state-of-the-art changing room at the impressive Gerard Buxton Sports Ground near Swindon.
The general improvement of follicular arrangement amongst the representatives of our fair city has, in most cases, improved hugely over the course of recent months, but the opening of the boot bags on Saturday morning suggests there is still some way to go when it comes to GPSFA’s choice of combat footwear.
Another area of undoubted progress during 2016/17 has been the improved arrival time of the majority of the usual suspects. Shut-Eye had earlier turned up first at the rendezvous point, closely followed by Last Man Lawson and, to many people’s surprise, fellow Heronite Mclean. Unfortunately the final Heronian and temporary physio Last Man Liggett’s nan was otherwise engaged this morning, so there was a ten-minute delay in the mini bus’s departure time.
Royal Wootton Bassett however was reached without issue, save the inescapable query, ‘How far to the services?’ Pain au Chocolat rolled his eyes at the question, but curtailed his desire to hand out an impromptu geography lesson to the would-be Ferdinand Magellan and returned to his ongoing dream in which he’s sat on a desert island leisurely eating a viennoiserie-pastry followed by an M & S tropical fruit salad.
Coach Lucan, having returned from his mid-season break in Milton Keynes with not even the slightest suggestion of a tan, was thrilled by the home side’s appointment of three match officials, but spent the sixty minutes of this Cotswold League encounter mulling over the potential ramifications of Swindon coming out on top, his recent absence having coincided with three consecutive victories and only one goal conceded.
The contest began - Boris saw an early effort well saved by the home keeper, while a succession of corners flashed across the face of the Swindon goal with no-one fancying the final touch. Blacker, having missed the Wolverhampton match due to a visit to Blushes, had taken great interest in the highlight of the game he discovered on ‘You Tube’ and on fourteen minutes did a perfect impression of Whiteboot two weeks previously, as he attempted to head the ball in at the far post whilst looking in the opposite direction.
At the other end Swindon threatened on several occasions, Big Boot bravely saving at the second attempt from Beale, before Desmond acrobatically cleared Seller’s effort off the line.
Gloucester eventually took the lead with the last action of the first half, Shut-Eye ignoring the example set by his aforementioned schoolmates, powerfully heading home Lawson’s corner at the far post. By looking at the ball and not the player he not only notched his fourth goal of the season, but head-butted Blacker (who was looking the other way) in the process and had to be temporarily removed from the fray. This prompted the reintroduction of Blackburn for the three seconds that remained prior to the interval, during which time the VC made not a single technical or tactical error.
Swindon levelled five minutes after the break when Dunne netted with a well struck drive into the bottom corner, an action which resulted in the substitution of Bread & Water, even though he was fifty yards from the scene of the crime at the time.
Back came Gloucester, Pain au Chocolat as sound as ever at the fulcrum of the city midfield, while Whiteboot provided a problem for both match officials and crowd (31, 10 away) on several occasions as the sun reflected dangerously from his footwear, causing temporary blindness in several of the assembled throng.
The visitors regained their lead when Shut-Eye reacted well to a loose ball in the Swindon box and finished with aplomb midway through the half and five minutes later Lawson was futilely attempting to claim his second goal of the season when his corner deflected in off a home defender.
Desmond and LML each made a number of decisive defensive interventions as Swindon continued to look dangerous on the break, while Ronseal gave away a brace of fouls in quick succession in order to practise his defensive organisation.
A great run from Blacker almost resulted in a fourth goal for the visitors, but this would have been somewhat harsh on a Swindon team that battled well throughout the contest. Blacker himself agreed, for having run sixty yards and sidestepped the keeper, he ran out of both breath and pitch and the game ended 3-1.
‘Blushes,’ said Blacker, as he shook hands with the referee at the end of the game, answering the inevitable question before it was asked. ‘Uh, hu, thanks,’ replied the official, gleefully making a note of the location on the back of his faded yellow card.
Back in the den, Chamberlain reflected that his spanking new boots hadn’t produced the goal he’d coveted and worse still, they’d now need at least an hour’s TLC before bed time. Shut-Eye on the other hand removed his footwear which, due to not having been cleaned for at least a month, represented as close to black as could be seen anywhere in the room.
All that glitters had certainly not turned to gold on this occasion. But the understated, lethal left of the silent but deadly midfielder certainly had. Lawson smiled wryly at the possible connotations of his favourite metaphor and surreptitiously opened the window just in case. But that’s another story altogether.
Gloucester: Moroney; Lynam, Mclean, Blackburn; Blacker, Jones, Chamberlain, Clifford; Smith. Sub: Lawson.
The general improvement of follicular arrangement amongst the representatives of our fair city has, in most cases, improved hugely over the course of recent months, but the opening of the boot bags on Saturday morning suggests there is still some way to go when it comes to GPSFA’s choice of combat footwear.
Another area of undoubted progress during 2016/17 has been the improved arrival time of the majority of the usual suspects. Shut-Eye had earlier turned up first at the rendezvous point, closely followed by Last Man Lawson and, to many people’s surprise, fellow Heronite Mclean. Unfortunately the final Heronian and temporary physio Last Man Liggett’s nan was otherwise engaged this morning, so there was a ten-minute delay in the mini bus’s departure time.
Royal Wootton Bassett however was reached without issue, save the inescapable query, ‘How far to the services?’ Pain au Chocolat rolled his eyes at the question, but curtailed his desire to hand out an impromptu geography lesson to the would-be Ferdinand Magellan and returned to his ongoing dream in which he’s sat on a desert island leisurely eating a viennoiserie-pastry followed by an M & S tropical fruit salad.
Coach Lucan, having returned from his mid-season break in Milton Keynes with not even the slightest suggestion of a tan, was thrilled by the home side’s appointment of three match officials, but spent the sixty minutes of this Cotswold League encounter mulling over the potential ramifications of Swindon coming out on top, his recent absence having coincided with three consecutive victories and only one goal conceded.
The contest began - Boris saw an early effort well saved by the home keeper, while a succession of corners flashed across the face of the Swindon goal with no-one fancying the final touch. Blacker, having missed the Wolverhampton match due to a visit to Blushes, had taken great interest in the highlight of the game he discovered on ‘You Tube’ and on fourteen minutes did a perfect impression of Whiteboot two weeks previously, as he attempted to head the ball in at the far post whilst looking in the opposite direction.
At the other end Swindon threatened on several occasions, Big Boot bravely saving at the second attempt from Beale, before Desmond acrobatically cleared Seller’s effort off the line.
Gloucester eventually took the lead with the last action of the first half, Shut-Eye ignoring the example set by his aforementioned schoolmates, powerfully heading home Lawson’s corner at the far post. By looking at the ball and not the player he not only notched his fourth goal of the season, but head-butted Blacker (who was looking the other way) in the process and had to be temporarily removed from the fray. This prompted the reintroduction of Blackburn for the three seconds that remained prior to the interval, during which time the VC made not a single technical or tactical error.
Swindon levelled five minutes after the break when Dunne netted with a well struck drive into the bottom corner, an action which resulted in the substitution of Bread & Water, even though he was fifty yards from the scene of the crime at the time.
Back came Gloucester, Pain au Chocolat as sound as ever at the fulcrum of the city midfield, while Whiteboot provided a problem for both match officials and crowd (31, 10 away) on several occasions as the sun reflected dangerously from his footwear, causing temporary blindness in several of the assembled throng.
The visitors regained their lead when Shut-Eye reacted well to a loose ball in the Swindon box and finished with aplomb midway through the half and five minutes later Lawson was futilely attempting to claim his second goal of the season when his corner deflected in off a home defender.
Desmond and LML each made a number of decisive defensive interventions as Swindon continued to look dangerous on the break, while Ronseal gave away a brace of fouls in quick succession in order to practise his defensive organisation.
A great run from Blacker almost resulted in a fourth goal for the visitors, but this would have been somewhat harsh on a Swindon team that battled well throughout the contest. Blacker himself agreed, for having run sixty yards and sidestepped the keeper, he ran out of both breath and pitch and the game ended 3-1.
‘Blushes,’ said Blacker, as he shook hands with the referee at the end of the game, answering the inevitable question before it was asked. ‘Uh, hu, thanks,’ replied the official, gleefully making a note of the location on the back of his faded yellow card.
Back in the den, Chamberlain reflected that his spanking new boots hadn’t produced the goal he’d coveted and worse still, they’d now need at least an hour’s TLC before bed time. Shut-Eye on the other hand removed his footwear which, due to not having been cleaned for at least a month, represented as close to black as could be seen anywhere in the room.
All that glitters had certainly not turned to gold on this occasion. But the understated, lethal left of the silent but deadly midfielder certainly had. Lawson smiled wryly at the possible connotations of his favourite metaphor and surreptitiously opened the window just in case. But that’s another story altogether.
Gloucester: Moroney; Lynam, Mclean, Blackburn; Blacker, Jones, Chamberlain, Clifford; Smith. Sub: Lawson.
