The Lonely Brain Cell and Gloucester B in West Kent
'This is going to be a long twenty-five hours,' thought Coaches Harris & Wixey and they hadn't even left Longlevens yet. With Coach Wixey driving a new mini-bus, Knight and Williams trying to fight Coach Harris, Butcher going for little wanders (not in his head this time), Weatherley claiming he has a girlfriend by claiming "Its name is Sarah!”, Collins tripping over the bags at the hotel, Weatherley and Sutherland firstly asking with a blank look on their faces, "What's a brain cell?" followed by breaking a glass within five minutes of being in their rooms and Sallis disabling a bed - obviously following the coaches examples of eating too many pies rendering them now incapable of playing football – the omens are not good.
However, it isn't until 3:40am that the drama really begins. Coach Harris is woken up by a constant bellow in his ear. Still in a daze, he assumes it was Weatherley and Sutherland acting somewhat raucously again. However, the bellowing continues until he realises it’s the sound of the fire alarm. He walks out of his room to see bemused guests and half naked GPSFA boys wandering the corridor (no shame). Within a few minutes the ringing stops (false alarm they say!!) and Coaches Harris and Wixey realise they haven't seen Sutherland and Weatherley recently. Upon checking their room, they find they are flat out and still have no idea what’s happened at 8:15am when they finally awaken.
However, putting the boys back to bed, it iss room 136 (occupants Pinkney, Balkwill & Collins) where Coach Harris finds himself saying, "Flippin' ‘eck boys, it's freezing in here!" To which Balkwill replies, "I flew open the curtains and opened the window as I assumed our room was on fire!" ....We'll make a fireman out him yet, thinks CH.
The whole debacle leaves CH and CW thinking, 'I haven't seen some of the boys move that fast in a while,' and hope that this eagerness would not dissipate before the big game in 6 hours time. They were not to be disappointed.
Effort can certainly not be blamed for Gloucester's unfortunate losing out on a place in the Geoff Richards final with a penalty late into extra time condemning the travellers to defeat.
The game was started quite frantically by both teams, who were trying to get the measure of their opponents on the small pitch.
However, it was West Kent that took the lead midway through the first half. A corner was crossed into the box and met by Kent forward Jones, who smashed the ball through the defence and into the net.
However, Gloucester were back level in a matter of minutes. Sutherland laid the ball through for Weatherley, who ran it into the box and passed it back nicely for Mason to slot into the opposite corner.
Both teams continued to pressurise the others' goal, and Weatherley came closest after good combination work once again with Sutherland led to a left foot shot from a sharp angle hitting the top corner of the goalpost.
For the large part though, the second half saw the away team camped in their own half. West Kent piled on the pressure and had a plethora of shots from the edge of the area. However, few proved fruitful enough to worry Balkwill, though the keeper made two fine saves, one to his bottom left and another in the top right corner, which saw Gloucester still hold on with a hope of nicking the game.
Sadly, this didn't come about with Kent continuing to come back at the Yellows every time they cleared. Some last ditch defending of corners and a stalwart back five of Balkwill, Pinkney, Collins, Elliott and Knight managed to keep the homers at bay though until the end of normal time.
Extra time saw little in clear-cut opportunities except for the play leading to the penalty. With Hill swerving in and out past three Gloucester players, an unfortunate clip on the knee bought him down just as he was about to pull the trigger. Langley stepped up to precisely smash the ball home and give West Kent the win. An unfortunate way to end a game, but all in all, probably a fair result when honestly is pondered upon.
Still, in the midst of the defeat, the changing room saw the return of 'the brain cell' talk. Coach Harris explaining to Knight, 'After heading the ball today as much as you did, then you must now be on a minus amount', to which Williams replied with, "What's a grain cell?" Both coaches are left rolling their eyebrows in disbelief and wondering how they manage to get a real conversation out of some of these boys.
'Onwards to Oasis,' was the cry heard and onwards they went.
Swimming was going rather swimmingly until Coach Harris mistook the depth of the water when stepping off the side. "I thought it was shallow, but my leg just kept going and going into the water. Before I knew it, I was belly-flopping towards the unfortunate beings that surrounded me. I heard cries of 'Free Willy' but didn't know what they meant!" he said when interviewed by the Swindon Echo afterwards. CH thought nobody had noticed his poor judgement until he looked up to the spectators’ balcony to find Coach Wixey chuckling uncontrollably.
Anyway, the troublesome-trio of Sutherland, Sallis and Weatherley screamed their way down the slides, Collins and Mason not only had red backs but red faces after they lost their backwards race with Harris, Knight and Williams, who were never more than 8.7cm away from each other, Pinkney enjoyed his solo handstands and Balkwill, Butcher and Elliott looked the picture of joy as they flew head first into the water from the White Shark (don't worry parents, that's a slide).
West Kent? Football? Extra time? Penalties? That was ages ago. When’s the wave machine coming back on?
However, it isn't until 3:40am that the drama really begins. Coach Harris is woken up by a constant bellow in his ear. Still in a daze, he assumes it was Weatherley and Sutherland acting somewhat raucously again. However, the bellowing continues until he realises it’s the sound of the fire alarm. He walks out of his room to see bemused guests and half naked GPSFA boys wandering the corridor (no shame). Within a few minutes the ringing stops (false alarm they say!!) and Coaches Harris and Wixey realise they haven't seen Sutherland and Weatherley recently. Upon checking their room, they find they are flat out and still have no idea what’s happened at 8:15am when they finally awaken.
However, putting the boys back to bed, it iss room 136 (occupants Pinkney, Balkwill & Collins) where Coach Harris finds himself saying, "Flippin' ‘eck boys, it's freezing in here!" To which Balkwill replies, "I flew open the curtains and opened the window as I assumed our room was on fire!" ....We'll make a fireman out him yet, thinks CH.
The whole debacle leaves CH and CW thinking, 'I haven't seen some of the boys move that fast in a while,' and hope that this eagerness would not dissipate before the big game in 6 hours time. They were not to be disappointed.
Effort can certainly not be blamed for Gloucester's unfortunate losing out on a place in the Geoff Richards final with a penalty late into extra time condemning the travellers to defeat.
The game was started quite frantically by both teams, who were trying to get the measure of their opponents on the small pitch.
However, it was West Kent that took the lead midway through the first half. A corner was crossed into the box and met by Kent forward Jones, who smashed the ball through the defence and into the net.
However, Gloucester were back level in a matter of minutes. Sutherland laid the ball through for Weatherley, who ran it into the box and passed it back nicely for Mason to slot into the opposite corner.
Both teams continued to pressurise the others' goal, and Weatherley came closest after good combination work once again with Sutherland led to a left foot shot from a sharp angle hitting the top corner of the goalpost.
For the large part though, the second half saw the away team camped in their own half. West Kent piled on the pressure and had a plethora of shots from the edge of the area. However, few proved fruitful enough to worry Balkwill, though the keeper made two fine saves, one to his bottom left and another in the top right corner, which saw Gloucester still hold on with a hope of nicking the game.
Sadly, this didn't come about with Kent continuing to come back at the Yellows every time they cleared. Some last ditch defending of corners and a stalwart back five of Balkwill, Pinkney, Collins, Elliott and Knight managed to keep the homers at bay though until the end of normal time.
Extra time saw little in clear-cut opportunities except for the play leading to the penalty. With Hill swerving in and out past three Gloucester players, an unfortunate clip on the knee bought him down just as he was about to pull the trigger. Langley stepped up to precisely smash the ball home and give West Kent the win. An unfortunate way to end a game, but all in all, probably a fair result when honestly is pondered upon.
Still, in the midst of the defeat, the changing room saw the return of 'the brain cell' talk. Coach Harris explaining to Knight, 'After heading the ball today as much as you did, then you must now be on a minus amount', to which Williams replied with, "What's a grain cell?" Both coaches are left rolling their eyebrows in disbelief and wondering how they manage to get a real conversation out of some of these boys.
'Onwards to Oasis,' was the cry heard and onwards they went.
Swimming was going rather swimmingly until Coach Harris mistook the depth of the water when stepping off the side. "I thought it was shallow, but my leg just kept going and going into the water. Before I knew it, I was belly-flopping towards the unfortunate beings that surrounded me. I heard cries of 'Free Willy' but didn't know what they meant!" he said when interviewed by the Swindon Echo afterwards. CH thought nobody had noticed his poor judgement until he looked up to the spectators’ balcony to find Coach Wixey chuckling uncontrollably.
Anyway, the troublesome-trio of Sutherland, Sallis and Weatherley screamed their way down the slides, Collins and Mason not only had red backs but red faces after they lost their backwards race with Harris, Knight and Williams, who were never more than 8.7cm away from each other, Pinkney enjoyed his solo handstands and Balkwill, Butcher and Elliott looked the picture of joy as they flew head first into the water from the White Shark (don't worry parents, that's a slide).
West Kent? Football? Extra time? Penalties? That was ages ago. When’s the wave machine coming back on?
