Didn’t We Have A Lovely Time, The Day We Went To Sutton
6.00am: Get up; check e-mails; look at weather; look away. Everything’s wet.
7.15am: Leave home, drive to home (of football).
7.39am: Final stray arrives; depart Longlevens. Rain falling.
8.25am: Get on M4; heavy rain; mini bus noise levels low.
9.26am: Get on M25; very heavy rain; mini bus noise levels acceptable.
9.44am: First ‘How far to services?’ heard.
9.46am: Arrive Cobham Services – seek out refreshment options.
9.59am: Gregg’s - two bacon rolls and black coffee; £5. Team chat and munch. Coaches just munch. Chamberlain still has money.
10.21am: Nutritionally sated, depart services. Rain easing.
11.05am: Arrive Carshalton Boys Sports College, scene of several years of defeats. Rain has stopped.
11.40am: Roared on by five travelling fans, Gloucester kick-off.
11.52am: After 12 minutes of Gloucester possession, Sutton win a corner and score.
12.07am: After 14 minutes of Gloucester possession, Sutton win a free kick and score.
12.10pm: Half time. Sutton 2 Gloucester 0. Raining in my heart.
12.30pm: After 15 minutes of Gloucester possession, Sutton cross from their left and score.
12.45pm: After 15 minutes of Gloucester possession, no-one else has scored. Full time: Sutton 3 Gloucester 0. It never rains, it pours. Emotionally, that is.
1.10pm: Traditional eaters Blackburn, Liggett & Lawson have eaten their Waitrose Asda steak slices. Pain au Chocolat Jones hasn’t. Smith asks what a steak slice is.
1.30pm: Leave Carshalton College by new Bas sat nav route.
2.00pm: Still in Carshalton.
2.40pm: On a motorway somewhere. Mini bus noise levels rising.
3.02pm: Pressure from Mclean, Clifford (and Jones, obviously) results in quick toilet stop at Reading services. Wilson & Basford delay departure due to Costa visit. Chamberlain retains notions of wealth.
3.30pm: On the proper motorway. Mini bus noise levels high.
3.59pm: Enter Swindon. Increasing level of internal noise.
4.09pm: 1.5 miles to Oasis.
4.14pm: 2.5 miles to Oasis.
4.24pm: After 3.5 miles, arrive Oasis.
4.30pm: Players in pool. Coaches discuss new tactics, formations, tika-taka, financial inducements and the possibility of temporarily poisoning the opposition.
5.05pm: Players still in pool as wave machine kicks in. Coaches go to coffee shop. Bas texts parents with new ETA. Fails to mention sat nav detours.
5.10pm: Players on pool slides. Coaches begin new conversation based around new tactics, formations, tika-taka, financial inducements and the possibility of temporarily poisoning the team.
5.32pm: Players exit pool. Two coaches de-infest mini bus for first time. Chamberlain counts remaining coinage on single finger.
5.52pm: Bus begins exit from Oasis car park.
5.57pm: Driver discovers exit from Oasis car park.
6.20pm: Approaching Cirencester on A419. Mini bus noise up to heavy rock concert level.
6.34pm: Approaching Air Balloon on A417. Mini bus noise reaches cacophony level.
6.46pm: Return Longlevens. Players depart. Noise-ometer returns to zero. Liggett forgets I-Pad. Mother forgets Moroney.
7.20pm: Kingsway Asda – top up diesel; clean out bus a second time.
7.40pm: Drop off mini bus at Waterwells. Empty bus; load car.
8.10pm: Drop off bus keys in Matson. Chat to Stu.
8.30pm: Get home; change.
8.40pm: Go out.
Summary: Time from leaving home to returning home: 13 hours 15 minutes. Miles driven: 281. Result: Lost 0-3. Medical report: Eardrums perforated. Final thought: Roll on next Saturday.
Didn’t we have a lovely time, the day we went to Sutton?
7.15am: Leave home, drive to home (of football).
7.39am: Final stray arrives; depart Longlevens. Rain falling.
8.25am: Get on M4; heavy rain; mini bus noise levels low.
9.26am: Get on M25; very heavy rain; mini bus noise levels acceptable.
9.44am: First ‘How far to services?’ heard.
9.46am: Arrive Cobham Services – seek out refreshment options.
9.59am: Gregg’s - two bacon rolls and black coffee; £5. Team chat and munch. Coaches just munch. Chamberlain still has money.
10.21am: Nutritionally sated, depart services. Rain easing.
11.05am: Arrive Carshalton Boys Sports College, scene of several years of defeats. Rain has stopped.
11.40am: Roared on by five travelling fans, Gloucester kick-off.
11.52am: After 12 minutes of Gloucester possession, Sutton win a corner and score.
12.07am: After 14 minutes of Gloucester possession, Sutton win a free kick and score.
12.10pm: Half time. Sutton 2 Gloucester 0. Raining in my heart.
12.30pm: After 15 minutes of Gloucester possession, Sutton cross from their left and score.
12.45pm: After 15 minutes of Gloucester possession, no-one else has scored. Full time: Sutton 3 Gloucester 0. It never rains, it pours. Emotionally, that is.
1.10pm: Traditional eaters Blackburn, Liggett & Lawson have eaten their Waitrose Asda steak slices. Pain au Chocolat Jones hasn’t. Smith asks what a steak slice is.
1.30pm: Leave Carshalton College by new Bas sat nav route.
2.00pm: Still in Carshalton.
2.40pm: On a motorway somewhere. Mini bus noise levels rising.
3.02pm: Pressure from Mclean, Clifford (and Jones, obviously) results in quick toilet stop at Reading services. Wilson & Basford delay departure due to Costa visit. Chamberlain retains notions of wealth.
3.30pm: On the proper motorway. Mini bus noise levels high.
3.59pm: Enter Swindon. Increasing level of internal noise.
4.09pm: 1.5 miles to Oasis.
4.14pm: 2.5 miles to Oasis.
4.24pm: After 3.5 miles, arrive Oasis.
4.30pm: Players in pool. Coaches discuss new tactics, formations, tika-taka, financial inducements and the possibility of temporarily poisoning the opposition.
5.05pm: Players still in pool as wave machine kicks in. Coaches go to coffee shop. Bas texts parents with new ETA. Fails to mention sat nav detours.
5.10pm: Players on pool slides. Coaches begin new conversation based around new tactics, formations, tika-taka, financial inducements and the possibility of temporarily poisoning the team.
5.32pm: Players exit pool. Two coaches de-infest mini bus for first time. Chamberlain counts remaining coinage on single finger.
5.52pm: Bus begins exit from Oasis car park.
5.57pm: Driver discovers exit from Oasis car park.
6.20pm: Approaching Cirencester on A419. Mini bus noise up to heavy rock concert level.
6.34pm: Approaching Air Balloon on A417. Mini bus noise reaches cacophony level.
6.46pm: Return Longlevens. Players depart. Noise-ometer returns to zero. Liggett forgets I-Pad. Mother forgets Moroney.
7.20pm: Kingsway Asda – top up diesel; clean out bus a second time.
7.40pm: Drop off mini bus at Waterwells. Empty bus; load car.
8.10pm: Drop off bus keys in Matson. Chat to Stu.
8.30pm: Get home; change.
8.40pm: Go out.
Summary: Time from leaving home to returning home: 13 hours 15 minutes. Miles driven: 281. Result: Lost 0-3. Medical report: Eardrums perforated. Final thought: Roll on next Saturday.
Didn’t we have a lovely time, the day we went to Sutton?
